“When a man and a woman love each other very much…”
I was four going on five when I heard those words from my mother. She was definitely prepared for the question after telling me I would soon have a little brother or sister. We sat in the chair and she opened a book to an artists picture of an egg that was the size of a silver dollar. She turned the page to an artists picture of a sperm that was about 8 inches long. She then said “When a man and a woman love each other very much, the man puts his sperm in the woman. The sperm then meets the egg inside the woman and that makes a baby.” It’s one of a handful of memories I truly remember from my childhood. I also remember looking at that big picture of the sperm thinking it must hurt mommy. And I know I wasn’t satisfied with my mother’s explanation, because that book became my new favorite. Trying to figure out how dad got that big sperm inside mommy was a rainy day hobby of mine.
Resisting the urge to join my wife scowling at the mother with one kid already, this memory crossed my mind. And I wondered…If this works, how would I answer that question? This sure is taking a lot longer and a lot more complicated than the story my mother told me. Do I tell him about how the doctor was so fascinated by my wife’s full bladder, that for grins he measured it at 66mm. Will she want to hear how we watched the doctor measure the lining to see that it was a healthy 8mm. Or the blood tests my wife had to take to check her estrogen levels, and how happy we are they’re normal. In the end, I guess the essence of the story is still essentially the same. Just instead of being vague to avoid talking about sex, we will be vague because it’s too flipping complicated.
I’m to give the trigger shot at exactly 11pm tonight. Egg retrieval is scheduled for 9 am sharp on Saturday. Yep, definitely more complicated.