IVF Purgatory

The sadness has given way to numbness. I’m not sure if that is progress or not. The few bright spots this week were the BFP’s of other IF travelers. My heartfelt congratulations to all of them! 🙂

But for us right now it feels like purgatory until our Why The Fail/What The Fuck (WTF) meeting on October 4th. We’ve had an offer from family to pay for the next attempt and we are considering the offer. The idea of putting someone else in debt and still end up with nothing is leaving a knot in my stomach. While we would like to try again…knowing the emotional toll this cycle took on us it isn’t something we are looking forward too. Much less get excited about. I mainly want to find out if the Doctor learned anything from this cycle they feel they can improve on with another cycle. We will then talk it over and make sure the family understands the risks before committing to another attempt.

In other news my sister and her boyfriend are coming to visit on Monday and we are going to Universal Studios to celebrate her Birthday. We are looking forward to spending time with family since we live several hours away from both our families. Should be fun.

We are also looking for a puppy. The wife has been busy searching while I’ve been getting everything squared away with the Landlord. I think it will be a good distraction if we do try for another IVF cycle, so I caved and said yes. So look forward to that announcement soon.

I’ve also had some further musings about the moon. I’m putting together a post about that to keep my mind occupied. Saturday I’ll be properly half-ass researching this one.

Sorry for the jumbled mess of a post, but that’s sort of what this feels like right now. Stuck in no-mans-land with nowhere to go. All we can do is try to stay busy while waiting. At least this wait doesn’t have the anxiety the 2ww did.

© copyright 2011-2012

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About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on September 22, 2012, in Purgatory and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Hey brother, hang in there. I know it sucks ass having to answer a phone call from the RE and hear their somber tone tell you the worst possible news imaginable. If you need to vent hit me up.-Josh

  2. I understand what you mean about the discomfort in getting a monetary gift. Since we’re taking a break from everything, my parents offered to pay for me to go back to school. On the one hand, it’s an amazing opportunity because I’ve always regretted dropping my original major for something that I thought could make more money. On the other hand, it hurts my pride to need financial help from my parents. I honestly think our families feel helpless in this situation and saw something they can help with so they want to do it. Even with school, I still wonder what if I fail or can’t find a job in the field afterwards. If it has no strings attached and they understand the risks is it really a bad thing? I can’t answer that for you because I’m still trying to figure it out myself!

  3. I totally get not wanting to accept a gift that is that large but think about the potential reward at the end!!! If I would have stopped after my fresh IVF fail I would not be pregnant right now…please stay positive and strong that the next try WILL work!!!

  4. The only way we were able to afford IVF was because of a gift from a family member. It is an uncomfortable feeling knowing that the gift ended in a miscarriage and I wonder how that family member really feels about it. But now my parents want to give us a combo loan/gift to try IVF one more time. I would love to try again, but I’m trying to figure out how I would feel if IVF #2 ends in failure as well. That’s another $10,000+ with nothing to show for it. My heart tells me to try IVF one more time, but my brain is telling me to take that money and start the adoption process, which would be less risky. We’re still very torn about what to do. (On another note, have fun at Universal! We used to live in Orlando and the parks were so fun to take visitors too – especially in the fall when it was less hot!)

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