Heart Stealing Bandit
Beware of this dangerous criminal. He is wanted for stealing the hearts of men, women and children. His weapons of choice…puppy dog eyes and fluffy floppy ears! Be on the lookout, or you may be his next victim. He has stolen the hearts of the kind elderly couple next door, and the parents of his owners hundreds of miles away. No one is safe!!!
He has been known to serenade the wives of other men. Sometimes he sings for them, other times he plays them the squeaky toy. All fall under his spell.
Wanted for several successful escapes from his enclosure while the owners are away at work, only to be found relaxing on the couch.
He knows all he must do is look into your eyes and he is off the hook. Being forgiven for the most nefarious offenses such as relieving himself indoors, chewing on the new couch, and gnawing on daddy’s sandals.
He tricks women into feeling sorry for him through daring actions, such as, jumping off the couch headfirst into the coffee table. Another common ploy is falling off bed/couch while sleeping. Do not be fooled by these attempts to open your heart!
He finds enjoyment helping his owners around the house by getting in their way. Your feet are not so you can walk, they exist only for him to curl up against while cleaning the toilet/washing dishes/making dinner.
He goes by the name “Bandit” and that tells you all you need to know. A few known aliases are “Stinker”, “Cutie Patootie”, “Sweetie” and “Pups”.
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