Preparing for a Showdown

Last week had some helpful distractions to keep our minds off thinking about the future. Well…most of the time. We had a lovely time with my sister and her boyfriend during their visit early in the week. The rest of the week was all about the new puppy. Training him on what he can and can’t chew on. Teaching him where to do his business. For a 10 week old puppy he is doing as well as can be expected. He knows when we go outside it is time to do business first. But hasn’t caught onto letting us know he must go out. Probably still early, but he is learning and we are learning, and I think Bandit will be a very good dog.

But now we are closing in on our WTF appointment with the doctor and we have come to one realization. This relationship with the doctor is like any other. There must be some compromises. While they may be the experts in what is best in general to help a couple get pregnant, that doesn’t mean it will work for us. One of the directives the first round was to eliminate all Class C medications. So my wife, under her psychiatrist’s supervision, eliminated her anxiety medication. I see now that was a big mistake. I’m not watching her suffer anymore without the help of her medication.

I used to be one of those people who downplayed the idea of suffering from anxiety. Now I know better and I know her suffering is real. The stress the anxiety creates is as much, if not more harmful to any baby than medications would be to help her. We will gladly try to work with medications the doctor thinks are less risky, but going without is not an option. That’s where we stand at the moment. Our showdown with the doctor is this Thursday at 2pm.

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About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on October 1, 2012, in Purgatory and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Good luck! I hope they can find a good compromise for your wife. Mental health is sometimes even more important than physical health. There has to be a way to find a nice, healthy medium. I’ll be thinking about you both on Thursday!

  2. good luck!!! I know anxiety can sometimes be unbearable and I think your mental health is as important as the physical and I truly believe it does play a major factor on how our body reacts to situations…just explain that this is a definite concern and there is no budging on this issue…they will work around it

  3. Good luck with your appointment!

  4. As someone who has dealt quite a bit with anxiety and has been on and off medication for it, I can tell you that it means *so much* to have a spouse who understands that anxiety is real. It is comforting to see you validate and support your wife through her struggle with it.

  5. I’m sure they will compromise with you – they seem to once there is an established relationship. My RE was pretty firm at the beginning and now he lets me weigh in on protocol, embryo selection, timing, etc. It took a little bit of “getting to know each other,” but it’s a great relationship now and one I’ll miss once we’re done with IVF.

    I like your decision. You guys know what’s best for both of you. Class C does not mean harm – it means not studied, if I am remembering what my OB told me correctly. My BIL suffers from severe anxiety and I understand how debilitating it can be. I cannot imagine suffering with that while going through IF. No way.

    Good luck!

  6. Many of my friends have had very successful pregnancies while on anxiety medication. Trust your gut.

  7. Both my RE and psychiatrist are fine with me staying on my class C anti anxiety medicine during our IVF cycles-my RE actually thinks it may do more harm than good to eliminate them.

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