Dear Ivfmale, Confused?

Time for another Dear Ivfmale where I look at what people were searching for when they found my blog. This is my way of helping others with whatever is troubling them. Looking at the list for the last couple of weeks I’m a bit disappointed. Either the search engines are getting better at targeting my page away from those with questionable motives, or those people are becoming wiser. But now I’m left with people who really need to take a class in googling. If I’m confused about what you are wanting, the search engine is going to be confused as well, pointing you in unhelpful directions.

—ivf bitch wife

  1. Now is your wife a bitch for wanting ivf? How dare she want to have your kid.
  2. Is she a bitch because of the stimulation medications? Yes those medications sure can give your wife mood swings. Blame the medication and let it go. She needs your support right now, this is one of those times you need to just brush it off and take things in stride.
  3. Are you going through IVF with a woman who was already a bitch wife? Can’t help you there. You married her.

—male delay ivf

Honestly what were you hoping to find with that search? There is only one reason why doctors would delay ivf due to the male partner and that is because they want to improve his sperm. Either in count or in quality. Now maybe a male might want to delay ivf due to financial or emotional reasons. Although doctors may just care about us making love to a plastic cup and then forgetting about us. The male partner is on the same emotional roller coaster during this time (sans stimulation drugs of course), and the ivf process without insurance sure does rip a hole in the wallet. But I’m still left confused what are you really looking for?

—engelse cocker spaniel chocolade bond

Huh?!? WTF does that mean? Oh wait, it’s Dutch. 😆 Thank you google translator.

—English cocker spaniel chocolate bond

You were looking at Bandit weren’t you. Bandit is half Cocker Spaniel and half Maltese, or Cock-tese. The English Cocker Spaniel has a bigger muzzle and a different look with side curtains.

English Cocker Spaniel source

Bandit is going to be smaller because of his Maltese mother. He is a sweet puppy as it is. I don’t see the need to be bonding chocolate to him.  Bandit would probably just end up eating the chocolate and I’ve always heard that giving your dog chocolate was bad. And if he didn’t eat it, you would just end up getting dog hair all over your chocolate. Who would want to eat chocolate dog hair? Or were you looking for a pie filling to go with semen meringue?

© copyright 2011-2012


About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on October 3, 2012, in Dear Ivfmale and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. 🙂 Thanks for the chuckle on this hump day! I wouldn’t want to bind chocolate with any of my dogs as well. Haha.

    • In fairness “bond” may have a different meaning in Dutch. I don’t know. But I couldn’t pass up the idea of binding chocolate to a dog. Just too funny.

  2. I love these posts! No one is finding me with interesting searches just yet. The best ones so far on my blog are (don’t judge me – these are other people’s searches – not mine!) “sister and i shower together and notice body changes,” “hotels make me sad,” and “via inbox he call you love,babe,sweet e.t.c but when he comment on your post he calls you my dear.” WHAT?

    • Those are good ones. It’s odd what people will search for and thinks a post on your page may have the answer they’re looking for. That’s really what these posts are poking fun at. Like your last one, for such a specific search, it makes no sense why someone is searching for that. 😆

  3. I had a funny one yesterday: dogs know when pregnant 2dp5dt…no clue how that came up since I dont even own a dog lol

    • haha. I may be wrong, but I don’t recall actually posting anything about chocolate or meringue initially before these popped up on my list. I only tweeted about making chocolate meringue cookies. Yet somehow Mr. Search Engine thinks I am discussing those topics.

      I’ve also noticed sometimes I get referrers from Google with nothing showing up in my list. I can only guess they are searching Google in privacy mode. Imagine what those individuals might be searching for. I’m disappointed, but a part of me is glad I don’t know.

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