Unsuccessful vs. Failure
I know I’ve mention this before, but I feel this concept deserves a closer inspection. It bothers me when I see the words “failed IVF” used. In my eyes our IVF attempt was unsuccessful, not a failure. Being unsuccessful and failing may seem like the same thing, but I think the difference is huge.
Consider a student in college dealing with a test coming up. This student plays football and needs an “A” on the test in order to participate in this weekends game. Foregoing the idea he could cheat, which I would view a failure for cheating his education over a sporting event, most would view him playing in the game this weekend as a success or failure outcome. I do not. I see three outcomes: successful, unsuccessful and failure.
Successful is obvious, but what is the difference between unsuccessful and failure? The difference is how the student prepared for the test. If he avoided parties and spent his free time studying for this test, the fact he doesn’t get an “A” I would view unsuccessful. However, if the student blows off studying to party with his friends, only to cram 2 hours before the test, I would view a grade lower than an “A” a failure. See the difference?
We did everything the doctor’s asked us to do to the best of our ability. Why should we consider the fact we fell short of our goal a failure? We didn’t smoke crack during the process. We didn’t skip injections because we grew tired of them. We didn’t go bungee jumping during the two week wait. If we had, I’d have no problem calling our IVF attempt a failure. But we didn’t.
That’s why I use the term “unsuccessful IVF” to describe our outcome. What do you think?