Shooting the Bandit

Snoring on the center console.

“Is that comfortable Bandit?”

“You’re just too cute!!! Come here buddy.”

“I’ve got a puppy dog with FLUFFY FLOPPY EARS.”

“You don’t like me playing with your ears, but I can’t help it…they’re just soooo FFFFLUUUUFFFFFYYYY!”

 

Leave me alone!

“I’m sorry. I’ll let you sleep”

“Well that wasn’t long. You wanna play?”

“Grrrrrr, Hahaha.”

“OUCH! Hey, my fingers are not chew toys buddy.”

“OOOOOUCH! What? You need to go outside? Okay, let’s go outside.”

“Will you stop a minute? I need to put your leash on. Come here! Good boy!”

“Good job walking down the steps Bandit; you’re getting the hang of it.”

“Get busy.”

“Good boy! Here is your treat.”

It is a bird.
It is a plane.
It is Super Bandit.
Ignoring the fact he is lying in the grass.

“It’s Super Bandit!”

“Hold on…let me get a picture.”

“Awe.”

“One more…oh you’re done playing Super Bandit.”

“I know! Let’s go this way. We can probably get some good pictures on the grassy hill.”

“BANDIT, FOLLOW.”

“Good boy.”

“Heel.”

“Heel.”

“Stay with me buddy.”

“This will be a good spot.”

“Sit…Stay!”

“Perfect. One, two…” Click

Where is my treat?

“No buddy, you don’t get a treat yet.”

“Get back there. Sit! Stay!”

“Very Good.” Click

Oh Look.
Dogshit!

“Ignore the crap Bandit.”

“Sit! Look over here.”

Click

What’s that noise?

“Bandit. Look over here buddy.” Click

I really want that dogshit.

“BANDIT NO! Leave that alone!”

“Come back here.”

“Sit! Stay!” Click

CHOMP!

“BANDIT NO!!! GROSS!”

“BAD DOG! BAD DOG! SPIT IT OUT NOW! SPIT IT OUUUT!”

“GET AWAY FROM IT!”

“IT’S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO CLEAN UP OTHER DOGS MESSES JUST SO YOU WON’T EAT IT!”

“All gone! Now sit!”

“Stay.” Click

Whine

“I’m sorry I yelled at you buddy.”

“But you really must stop eating that. It’s gross and you’ll catch worms.”

“Come here Bandit. Yes. I love you buddy.”

“No, you’re not licking my face right now.”

“Let’s try again.”

“Sit! Stay!” Click

Where did the dogshit go?

“It’s all gone bud!”

“I’m starting to think this is a hopeless cause.”

“Last attempt and then we will go get something to eat…okay?”

“Love you too pups.”

“Sit!”

Click

Did you say food?

“BULLSEYE!”

© copyright 2011-2012

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About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on October 21, 2012, in Bandit and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Omg he is too cute!!!

  2. He’s so cute!! One of my dogs is a poop eater – he just turned 5 and has yet to grow out of this habit no matter what I try. I hope Bandit is smarter than my beagle 🙂

    • What is weird is he is such a picky eater. Many times he will pass by them without a second glance. But every once in a while a turd will grab his attention and my only option is to pick it up.

      He is going into his terrible two’s phase. He’s been leaving my sandals alone for a while now. But last night I caught him chewing on them again. Bandit sure keeps me on my toes. 🙂

  3. Aww… looks like he’s smiling!

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