Two Sperm Tales

I had a request for poems about “the journey of a sperm for kids” from Mr. Google this week. Inspired by the challenge I created the following poems.

A Sperm’s Tale

By Matthew Wanner

In a moment of love,
during a time of joy;
an army of sperm
shot out of the boy.

First order of business
we instinctively knew,
find the cervix door
and march right on through.

Many didn’t make it,
a high price we paid.
But now in the uterus
a choice must be made.

Some swam to the left,
but I chose the right.
We could only guess
where the egg took flight.

In the tube we waited,
wondering how lucky we’d be.
When out of the depths,
an egg we could see.

We sprang into action,
the first I was not;
but none of the others
had found the right spot.

Wiggling my tail,
giving it my all;
I punched my way in
through the egg wall.

The egg gave a shutter
as it split into two,
and then it repeated
until we – became you.

BUT WAIT! What about those of us not able to have children naturally? Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you. πŸ˜€

A Sperm’s Tale – ICSI Style

By Matthew Wanner

The scouting reports wrong?
How could that be?
We’re in a plastic cup
from what I could see.

Yes it’s a cup
which is now enclosed.
Glad it’s not the floor,
but man this blows.

Placed in a door,
left with a bell ring;
a woman picked us up
who couldn’t even sing.

Scooped into a tube,
then spun really quick.
Packed in so tight
I thought I’d be sick.

Sucked up and spit out
onto some glass,
with a light so bright
I wished this would pass.

Sperm were then taken,
captured one by one.
First Frank, then Paul,
we knew they weren’t done.

I was selected,
an egg my new place.
This is the life,
and I didn’t even race.

Five days we divided,
our progress was tracked.
We were then selected,
the rest frozen and packed.

Finally in the uterus,
we made our estate.
While the parents would suffer
the dreaded two week wait.

A ring of the phone,
followed by tears of glee.
That my sweet child
is how you came to be.

Β© copyright 2011-2012

About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on November 28, 2012, in Poetry and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. You forgot the part when the nice doctor snips of your tail and jams your head into an egg! I love it. My husband is a teacher and we joked about how to explain to his students how babies are made icsi-style when he was teaching sex ed. FYI, there is no talk of infertility in sex ed.

    • Yep, completely forgot that part. Probably because I didn’t want to remember that part. πŸ˜†

      It’s sad sex ed still doesn’t cover basic infertility concepts. The initial shock when learning I was infertile would have been less had I known more about it. I just figured I’m old and infertility treatments just weren’t that common back when I was in high school.

      • The purpose of my sex ed class was to scare us out of having sex. Anything that could suggest we could have sex without consequences was definitely not mentioned.

      • I do remember learning about contraception, then told how it fails and we’re better off just not having sex. Like anyone listened. HA!

  2. What about the awesome room with the bar fridge, big screen tele, arm chair and remote!? Happy man land at the clinic…the chicks do it a bit starker, I might add. Great work on the ICSI Version πŸ™‚

    • WHAT? You mean the folding chair in the bathroom. With the outdated magazines you have to place on the floor because one hand is busy and the other is holding a cup.

      I’m sooo jealous of your Happy Man Land at the clinic! But I don’t know what I would do now without my folding chair mistress.

      Glad you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚

  3. I absolutely love these two tales – very clever indeed! πŸ˜€

  4. you should consider writing a book

  5. Awesome!! πŸ™‚

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