240 Oh No!

Back when I went to the urgent care clinic over the holidays, I received some bad news having nothing to do with why I was at the clinic. I stepped on the scale to be weighed, fully expecting to have gained back all the weight I had lost. I’d lost control of my eating habits and I just didn’t care anymore. I still ate whole grain, used lean beef, avoided potatoes, so I hadn’t completely lost control. By my willpower to say no like I could before was gone.

Sure I made goodies once in a while, but it wasn’t like I was baking a pan a brownies every other day. Maybe once a month I would make a homemade treat. The problem was portions and snacking. I was eating like an alcoholic drinks beer to forget.

Then there were the goodies other people would bring into work. Since the cube opposite me is empty, guess where they like to put all the cookies, cupcakes, brownies and donuts? All day I watch people enter the cube across from me and walk out with something delicious in their hands. With my willpower gone, knowing what was going to happen if I fell for the temptation, I’d try one. Just like an alcoholic, I couldn’t eat just one. It’s not like anyone would notice me sneaking another treat 5 minutes later; since the only person who could notice sits across the hall and just happens to be me.

While everyone else may have only had 1 or 2 treats, I would end up having 4 or 5 before I started kicking myself for eating one in the first place.

So I stood on the scale and heard the nurse announce “Weight 240”.

What? Crap! That is 5 pounds heavier than I’ve ever been. Son of a BITCH! That’s 100 pounds heavier than I was 15 years ago before starting a desk job.

I avoided making weight loss a New Years resolution. Not only would that be completely cliche, but just giving it that label seems like I’m expecting to fail. My goal for now is to get under 200. I hardly ever eat fast food. My diet is healthier than most of the people I know. (Except my father who is a health nut.) I already eat a lot of chicken breast and veggies. Other than cutting back on sweets, which I will be doing, there isn’t much more I can do besides counting calories. I like math, but trying to figure out how many points my homemade meal costs me just adds to my frustration. So to accomplish this goal I’m focusing on exercise, which I hate.

Whenever I exercise on my own, I just end up watching the clock waiting for it to be over. If I can establish a routine, I’m better at sticking with exercise…until the day comes along forcing me to break my routine. There always seems to be some need to travel out of town, or I come down sick which means I can’t exercise. Getting back on the horse for some reason is always hard after being forced off.

To help combat my laziness and make exercise more than something I dread doing. I’m teaming up with a friend to lift weights. Hopefully this buddy system will keep me committed to exercising. This way I’m talking to someone rather than just watching the clock. We can push each other to finish just one more rep. And since he has a pretty nice set up at his house, I’m not going to a gym feeling like everyone is looking at the big guy huffing it on the treadmill.

Also the wife and I are planning more morning walks with Bandit.

I’M DOING THIS.

I have to. I’m tired of being the big guy. I’m tired of having a closet full of perfectly good clothes that I can’t fit into, hoping I would lose the weight one day.

This weight is going bye-bye.

I promise to have a Bandit post soon. Time just hasn’t been on my side this week. 🙂

© copyright 2011-2013

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About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on January 17, 2013, in Weight Loss and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Oh, dude, some kind of evil god is totally sitting up there laughing his aarse off, putting the treat cubicle right opposite yours is evil divine intervention. Sounds like exercise is the only way to go, and I’m sure Bandit would love to spend more time wandering about outside with you!!!

  2. Hey, good for you! Hubbie and I just joined a gym. It’s nice to go together and have a buddy. We’re on our first week, but I feel pretty good! Hubby is a little bit of a biking nut, so I look pretty frumpy next to him. We’ll see how it goes! Keep us updated, that may help…. Me: 153, but I’m only 5’3″ so I’ve got a good 25#. We’ll see!

    We started putting fruit in the break room at work… I don’t think it’s helped me, but I think some of the dieters appreciate it. Plus if you see a clementine next to the doughnut it may shame you into a fruit choice…

    • Good luck with your workout routine!

      My buddy and I are working out together 2 days during the week and individually on the weekend. We’ve had two work outs so far that I thought I was taking it easy starting out, but I still feel like I’ve been beat up with a baseball bat. Oh well.

      I know the soreness lessens after the first week, just wish I was past this point already!

  3. try a food journal…I know sometimes we think we eat well and we actually dont

    • Good idea. Although I’m pretty aware of when I’m eating something I shouldn’t be. My major food vice is sweets. Everything else I eat is whole grain, lean meat, fruits and veggies. I just eat too much of it compared to the amount of activity I get.

      But it wouldn’t hurt to try a food journal to see if I’m overlooking something.

  4. I second the food journal! I’m supposed to eat low GI foods to improve my hormones (since I have PCOS) and it’s much easier to do that when keeping a food journal. Knowing that I will have to write down whatever crap I’m tempted to eat is a pretty good deterrent. And it feels so good to write down the day’s food when I’ve been good.

    My husband has the same struggle with weight that you do. He eats pretty well, but he still tends to gain weight. He also thinks his problem might be portion control and lack of exercise, but there are so many people who eat much worse and are still thin. Still, my husband has lost weight before, so it’s doable- but I know that it’s a very difficult lifestyle change for him. 😦 Good luck to you!

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