Valentine’s Day!

I learned a lot about the importance of Valentine’s Day from my father. He taught me exactly what a husband should NOT do on Valentine’s Day. I recall one year he tried to get away with only a card, then watched him suffer the rest of the week trying to make up for his faux pas.

What I learned was you can either expend a little energy and effort before Valentine’s Day and reap the rewards. Or you can expend a lot of energy and effort (and money) after Valentine’s Day just trying to get your wife to forgive you.

In a nutshell, Valentine’s Day is important! Don’t listen to her tell you it’s not important, that’s a trap. Don’t believe me? Try ignoring Feb 14th altogether and watch what happens!

The great thing about Valentine’s Day is that it’s not about how much money you spend. How big the box of chocolates you bought for her are. Neither flowers or jewelry are even required. The day is about making her feel loved and letting her know she is a special part of your life.

This year we made reservations at a restaurant we both love. I purchased a pair of earrings within my budget that I thought would look beautiful on my wife. Picked up the obligatory Valentine’s Day card, and still felt like I was short of the mark on showing how much I loved her.

So instead of buying some overpriced roses and a crummy box of chocolates at the store, I figured I’d make her something special…an arrangement of my own making. I found a cute tray to hold my Valentine goodies at a craft store, along with some accessories to give it that personal touch. I ran to the grocery store and picked up some Ghiradelli chocolate chips and some yummy strawberries. I also found a tray for making heart shaped ice cubes that could be used instead to make little heart shaped chocolates with the extra melted chocolate

My plan was to make my wife chocolate covered strawberries and little chocolate hearts; arrange them in the tray with little red felt hearts I bought and voilà: a gift from the bottom of my heart that I hoped would touch her’s. As luck would have it, she arrived home and spotted the chocolate chips and strawberries, put 2 and 2 together and announced, “You could have just bought me some chocolate covered strawberries from the store.”


But behind that casual comment I think I saw a hint of a smile.

The universe felt I needed some more luck and gave her the morning shift the day before Valentine’s Day, so I had to prepare this “surprise” while she was at home.

The process didn’t take very long and I’m very happy with how it turned out.


She loved her Valentine’s Day chocolate and I loved making it for her.

The thing is, you don’t need to spend a bunch of money to let your woman know you are still in love with her. If you’re scared of setting the house on fire trying to make her chocolate covered strawberries…try writing a poem. If you suck a writing poetry then memorize a love poem and whisper it in her ear as you embrace.

Take a trip to the spot of where you first met, first kissed, or first realized you were in love with her. Show her you remember those times in your relationship.

Valentine’s for a married couple is about letting go of the day to day worries and rekindling the love affair with your wife. Let go of the worries about trying to get pregnant for the day. (Unless you’re ovulating then hey, perfect timing!) Let her know that you desire her as much now as when you first kissed.

That’s why Valentine’s Day is important to your special lady, and should be important to you as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

© copyright 2011-2013

About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on February 14, 2013, in Purgatory and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. You are such a sweet husband!

    I do prefer just a card, and dinner out (the weekend right before or after – not the night of). B learned early on that you NEVER skip the card on Valentine’s day – even if you have big plans for the weekend right after it. Neither of us have bought cards yet this year, because of a shitty day yesterday for both of us and he’s traveling. Neither of us cares. We’re going to dinner on Saturday. It appears that I have learned that a card on Valentine’s day is not really that important. What IS important to me is that he made time to have lunch with us today, even thought he’s swamped and needs to head out of town right after work for meetings tomorrow. Now that’s true love!

    But if he made me chocolate covered strawberries, I would not complain!

    • I try to be.

      See, that’s what I’m talking about. Valentine’s isn’t about what you buy or how much you spend, but what you do to show you love each other. Making lunch with the family his top priority is a nice way to demonstrate that love.

  2. You are one smart man!!!! I’m sending Chris to you for training!!

  3. So cute. I love that you still made them even though and was home! Bravo.

    • Well she didn’t know about the dish I bought to display them. Plus I banned her from the kitchen while making them. Even though she really wanted to eat one early. 🙂

  4. Oops, even though she already knew and was home!

  5. D’oh, your reputation is shot, you’ve revealed yourself as a big soft sweetie… there goes your career as a mafia boss… though I bet even they are too scared to not buy anything for V-Day…

    • Tony Soprano knew better then to ignore Valentine’s day.

      You can either work harder or smarter. The smart move is to plan for V day. Otherwise a guy will just end up working harder to quit sleeping on the couch. 😆

  6. Amazing! You are a great husband!

  7. You are so sweet! I love your emphasis on doing something thoughtful more than spending a lot of money. I feel the same way!

    • People are so quick to point to Valentine’s Day claiming it’s just a fake commercial holiday, but it doesn’t need to be. We can make the day special without spending a lot of money.

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