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Dear IVFmale, ivf and accomplishments

I’m constantly amazed how some people find this blog using search engines. Take my top 5 search terms this week…

One of my reasons for starting this blog was to help get the male’s perspective of the infertility story told. When I first found out about my condition, I searched the web for answers and guidance about the journey I was just starting. Most of what I found were women dealing with infertility due to a male factor condition. While helpful, it missed the mark in what I was craving. A male’s understanding of the shock I was feeling. To connect in some small way with another also dealing with the emotions of my Severe Male Factor diagnosis. A couple of good male perspective blogs were found, many were not.

One male blogger put everything in terms of Star Wars. I love Star Wars. I’m a total Star Wars geek. George Lucas turned into the Evil Empire…Han Solo shot first…Phantom and Clones are an abomination that Lucas should be ashamed of…I get the attraction of Star Wars.  I don’t want Star Wars ruined even further by linking it with infertility. Just NO!

My ivf accomplishment has been creating this blog. A place to laugh at infertility when you’re just tired of crying about it. Yet still put forward real emotion which others may fear admitting. The search engine verification process was my attempt to reach out to others just beginning their struggle with infertility.

Where men can come and understand it’s normal to feel a sense of loss after hearing bad news about you’re condition. There is still hope. Always remember, a couple will survive the hard times by working together. Sometimes you support her, other times she will support you. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to your wife about your struggles. She is probably wanting you too.

A place where a woman can learn what their husband is feeling, but he won’t speak about.  To understand men struggle just as much with the emotions of infertility that they are. We don’t go quiet because we’re cold and heartless…it’s because we care and we’re afraid to cause the woman in our life even more distress. We don’t understand that talking about what we are feeling would actually help her.  Let your man know talking about his feelings will help you both. And be a little forgiving if the words don’t come out right, because we’re not used to talking about feelings.

I’m very proud of this blog. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be so popular with folks wanting to make meringue from semen and puppy pictures. Three of my top five search terms are for Bandit! Now you’re probably asking yourself, how “missing half of face” could possibly be attributed to Bandit?

I’m glad you asked; I wondered the same thing. My request to Mr. Google left me scratching my head. Nothing related to my blog, and I wasn’t about to scan several pages of people missing half their face to find out why. Tagging “ivfmale” onto the end made it clear why this person found me.

Cocker-teseIn my post The Cock-tese I talked about Bandit being half Cocker Spaniel and half Maltese. Then pointed out the adorable face and stated he was missing his momma since we just picked him up from the breeder.

Even while looking at the grotesqueness of people with only half a face, Bandit snatched them away to look at cute adorable puppy pictures!

Simply amazing.

Further down the list we have…

— male nut cursher

Quit being sexist. A female can cursh nuts as well as any male can. What is a nut cursher anyway?

— ivf “calling in sick”

Go right ahead.

— punishment needle
— i gave my wife a needle injection as afun

I bet you both have no problems procreating…but you still need to seek help!

— 4dp3dt and lots of cm

STOP! STOP! STOP! The ups and downs are bad enough from the doctor, quit adding to it. I understand if checking your cm now brings you comfort from doing it so often…but lay off googling about it. You can pee on a stick in a few more days. GOOD LUCK!

— male hospital exam funny stories

Have you heard the one about getting a testicle and prostate exam from a urologist while the wife watches?


© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, Sperm Out!

Sorry folks. Works been keeping me busy, but we all need a break once in a while…right! An interesting group of searches this week. Let’s get started…

—ivf male blogspot

Uhm. I’m on wordpress. But you found me anyway so you’re forgiven.
Nothing against blogspot, I just like wordpress.

—4dp3dt temperature spike

Stop! I know it’s a long wait and old habits die hard. Give the basal thermometer a rest. One thing I’ve learned is symptom checking during IVF isn’t helpful. It might mean implantation is occurring, but it could also be a hundred other reasons too. You’re just making the roller coaster ride worse. Good luck with your beta and I’m wishing you a BFP!

—poem for a ivf couple trying

Well since you asked…

There once was a couple trying to conceive,
hopes for a family they would soon achieve,
a doctor they would pay
IVF’s the only way
a journey harder than any would believe.

—the sperm out last time

😆 I honestly haven’t a clue what you’re hoping to find. Something about this search reminded me of the song Le Freak by Chic and what Weird Al Yankovic might have done with it. Let’s have some fun shall we?

Le Sperm by IVFmale.
(Satire of Le Freak by Chic)

Ah, sperm out!
Le sperm, c’est chic
Sperm out!
Ah, sperm out!
Le sperm, c’est chic
Sperm out!

Have you heard about the new fun craze?
Listen to me, I’m sure you’ll be amazed
Big fun to be had by every male
It’s up to you, it surely can not fail

Young and old are doing it, I’m told
Just one try and you too will be sold
It’s called ‘Le Sperm’, I’m doing it right now
Allow me, I will show you how


All that pressure got you down
Has your head been spinning all around?
Feel the rhythm, there’s no crime
Come on along and have a real good time

Like the days of jerking as a boy
Now we “sperm,” oh, what a joy
Just head on in through the bathroom door
Try not to shoot it on the floor


Now sperm
I said sperm
Now sperm

All that pressure got you down
Has your head been spinning all around?
Feel the rhythm, there’s no crime
Come on along and have a real good time

Like the days of jerking as a boy
Now we “sperm,” oh, what a joy
Just head on in through the bathroom door
Try not to shoot it on the floor


© copyright 2011-2012

Leibster Award

Thank you Cindysn @ for nominating me for a Leibster Award. This being my first award nomination, I hope I don’t screw it up.


  • Answer 11 questions posed by the nominator.
  • Nominate 11 blogs for the award.
  • Create 11 questions for those I nominate to answer.

First I’m supposed to answer 11 questions posed by the one who nominated me…

  1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? On my own yacht so I could easily move somewhere else when I got bored.
  2. What is your favorite food? Besides dessert…Spanish Steak.
  3. What is your favorite holiday and why? Christmas….COOKIES!
  4. If you could be any person for just one day who would you be? My RE so I could award my Wife and I a free IVF cycle.
  5. If you could have dinner with 3 people, dead or alive, who would they be? No one specific, just 3 people I could be myself with for the evening without fear of sticking my foot in my mouth.
  6. What is your favorite season? Autumn. Cooler weather with beautiful colors of nature.
  7. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? That I enjoyed exercise.
  8. What’s the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? You can read all about it here.
  9. If you could pick one super power to have what would it be and why? Any super power I know I would end up abusing for my own self serving reasons. Even though I would want to use them for good. It’s best that I don’t have a super power. But if forced to choose it would be teleportation so I could just avoid traffic.
  10. What is your favorite movie of all time? American Splendor
  11. Why do you blog? To communicate my feelings to my wife that I have trouble saying out loud. To connect with other individuals who understand what I’m dealing with. To keep infertility from driving me insane.

Next I’m to nominate 11 others for the award who have under 200 followers. Well crap! I like all the blogs I’m following and those following me. If I had more time I would follow several more, but I spend too much time on wordpress as it is. Several I like already have hundreds of followers. And Cindysn already nominated many of my faithful followers. I’ll just nominate those I would like to see more support for, many who are now in the middle of their journeys.

  1. bethanybosha @
  2. Sunnyside & Scrambled @
  3. Courtney @
  4. Leighann @
  5. Barrenart @
  6. Samantha @
  7. cmdcupcake @
  8. lalawhy @
  9. ivfdream @
  10. TG @
  11. mybrokenoven @

Whaa!!! So many I want to nominate, so little room!

Now what questions should I ask…

  1. What inspired you to start your blog?
  2. Describe one feature you wish WordPress had that it doesn’t.
  3. What quality about yourself are you most proud of?
  4. Describe your fondest childhood memory.
  5. Tell me about your first car.
  6. Who inspires you and why?
  7. Tell me the most recent joke you’ve heard that was really funny.
  8. What do you want others to remember you by?
  9. Which question above do you wish I hadn’t asked?
  10. What question didn’t I ask you wish I had?
  11. Do you think I made up the last two questions because I ran out of questions?

Poem for my blog

Yesterday fellow blogger rarasaur caught the poetry bug and wanted to write a limerick or a haiku about other blogs and was asking for requests. Curious and amused by this request, I submitted my blog for consideration. I was completely blown away with the result. The request line is still open if you’re interested. Without further ado…



IVF Male and the story of his folding mistress and battle for children to be.

A man tells a tale of fertility,

from a bathroom designed for sterility,

a small folded chair

keeps him grounded in where

parenthood is founded — humility.

Wife Pressed!

I’ve found blogging to be a big help dealing with the emotions throughout this process. The problem I’m facing is previously there was always a new step in the process to talk about. A funny story to share about an uncomfortable Urology visit, or being attacked by an overhead cabinet. Now I’m struggling with what to write about without every post turning into, “woes is me…I’m infertile and IVF didn’t do donkey balls to help me.”

The Dear Ivfmale posts are fun to write. But it’s really hit or miss if I have anything good to talk about.  Twice now I’ve given up and posted something anyway, just to have a plethora of search gems pop up later that day. So I decided to start participating in the weekly “Daily Post Challenge” to keep the blog interesting and relevant to it’s purpose about issues dealing with infertility.

But another part of me wanted to do these challenges in hopes of getting Freshly Pressed. I know I can bring the emotion and I’m pretty sure if the right people would read one of these posts, it would be a good candidate for being selected. Sure it’s simply an ego boost. Frankly, after the dark thoughts running through my head this past weekend, I’m not ashamed to admit I need some ego boosting right now.

So I wrote the poem and posted it hoping that maybe being Freshly Pressed, it might raise my confidence and make me feel there is more to my future than just having a child.

With all the positive comments the poem received, it was a big help in bringing me out of my funk. I felt maybe I do have a shot at being chosen.

Then on Tuesday, my wife read the poem. She loved it! She loved it so much she posted it to her Facebook not caring who read it. It doesn’t matter hardly anyone has clicked her link. It doesn’t matter whether I’m chosen to be Freshly Pressed or not. I was Wife Pressed. She loves my poem and she loves me. And that’s all that really matters.

© copyright 2011-2012

Searching for a relaxing day

Since we started the stimulation shots, it feels like I’ve been constantly busy worrying about something. That something mostly revolving around drugs of some sort. But now that we are coming upon the end of this part of the journey, I’m finally feeling relaxed. No more worrying about taking my pill twice a day. I’m finished, for now, with having to order more drugs from the specialty pharmacy and making sure someone will be home to sign when they arrive. The anxiety of giving my wife a shot no longer bothers me.

Last night I came home to a wonderful chicken and rice dinner the wife prepared, where we had an interesting conversation about sore, swollen boobs. We raided the goodies from the hurricane supplies we thankfully didn’t need. Sat together on the couch watching the hurricane coverage to make sure our relatives in Alabama were safe. Laughed and joked about the idiots on TV trying to stand up and talk into a microphone in the middle of the storm. We then finished the night giving each other shoulder rubs. This morning I made pancakes and we laughed at each others weird dreams. Yes I still had to give her shots, but my head is no longer obsessing about them. I’m feeling really good, almost normal. The wife is dealing with the discomfort of swollen boobs and swollen ovaries, but her mood is pretty good too.

A couple of weeks ago I connected this blog up with google in the hope of helping others, so their search engine can find this blog. As a bonus, I get a nifty report telling me what people searched for when they list this blog in their results. So today I looked at the list and found:

— “my wife hates me ivf too expensive”

I’m sorry your wife hates you and I completely understand thinking ivf is too expensive for you. I would shop around. You may have been referred to a clinic that has a high price tag. I felt the same way and lucked out that our clinic’s rates are reasonable enough for us to afford it. If in the end you just can’t afford ivf, her seeing you make the effort should stop her hatred of you. (I would still sleep on the couch for a while until she gives you a thumbs up.)

— “male torture”

Either you have real psychological issues, or you are in a troubling relationship and need assistance. Please get some help. I feel like I should call the police, but I’m not sure what I would tell them.

— “male troture”

See previous answer and a typing or spelling course may also be of benefit.

— “What do they do in the consultation for IVF for the male?”

I hope this person came to this blog and found some answers. Unfortunately those answers are simply ejaculate in this cup and stick this needle into your wife’s bum. But I’d like to think I’m helping somebody.

© copyright 2011-2012

Power of positive emotion

I’m finding keeping my emotions in check to be increasingly difficult. I know this procedure has less than a 40% chance of being successful. I’ve read other blogs talking about the heartache of going through the process without success. But I find myself dangerously excited nonetheless. It is hard not too.

I originally started this blog as an outlet for myself to get some things off my chest. I planned to wait until we received the BFP (big fat positive) or BFN (big fat negative) before telling anyone close to me. The stress of going through this was enough, I just wanted to avoid a list of phone calls I had to make to give updates. I then came to realize this is a good way to distribute information from a central platform. It avoids the need to repeat myself over several phone conversations. So I let a few people close to me know about my blog. They seem to find it informative, interesting and agree that this is a good way to easily keep others in the loop as our progress continues. Today we decided to include a few more family and friends. I can make a post the moment I have any information and avoid the dilemma of whom I should call first. It is proving to be one of my better decisions.

Anyway, my shot technique appears to be working. All the medication stayed in with minimal pain.

The wife feels bad about me having to drive to her work the rest of this week to give her the shot, but I really don’t mind. It was important to keep her mornings free for the ultrasound visits, therefore she requested the evening shift all this week. I’m just glad that after 3 weeks they finally fixed the air conditioning at her work.

© copyright 2011-2012