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Dear Ivfmale, Santa Claus Black Gay?

With the holidays, I postponed the Dear Ivfmale segment. Let’s take a look over the last couple weeks regarding what folks are desperately needing answers too and hoped that my blog held the treasures they were seeking.

— can my wife force me to do ivf

Legally? I don’t think so. I’m not a lawyer, but I don’t see how an insurance company can avoid paying for ivf while a wife can force you into the procedure. But stranger laws have been on the books before. Who knows.

That being said, I’m not sure refusing is the best for your relationship. I really would need to know why you’re resistant to trying ivf before going any further. Financial and religious reasons are sure obstacles a couple must consider carefully. However if you simply don’t “want to” then I see divorce papers in the near future.

— men don’t care ivf

Most of us do care. We just get confused sometimes when you need us to be rock and when you need to see our softer side. Sometimes we appear as if we “don’t care” as a coping mechanism to keep ourselves in check. If you need to see more emotion out of your male partner, let him know seeing a little emotion from him would actually help you and it’s safe for him to lower his guard a bit.

— mimic brownie box mix recipe

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?!? This is so wrong on so many levels. I’m not completely anti box mix. Box mix brownies are quick, easy, and certainly better than store bought brownies. But if you’re making homemade brownies…MAKE HOMEMADE BROWNIES! Sorry but a ruined homemade brownie is still better than a box mix one.

— santa claus black gay

The primary influences for the legend of Santa Claus are Saint Nicholas who was Greek, and the dutch legend of Sinterklaas. Both of whom are not black. Does the race of Santa Claus really matter? Isn’t the message of loving all children regardless of skin color more important than the color of Santa’s skin?

But Santa’s not gay! I’m not saying there is anything wrong if Santa were gay, I just don’t see anything to indicate that he is. Why would Mrs. Claus agree to be a beard for someone who spends most of his life in hiding anyway? Would a gay man really wear a red suit with white fur trim? Santa may be infertile, but definitely not gay.

The Easter Bunny, he’s totally gay! Snazzy button vest. Can’t help decorating plain objects in pretty pastel colors. Hops around carrying decorated baskets from house to house. Then there is always that one Easter egg hidden in the closet. And given the fertility prowess of rabbits, the most likely reason the bunny has time to do all this and isn’t busy taking care of hundreds of little ones is the Easter Bunny is attracted to male bunnies over female ones. I’m not judging Mr. Bunny. Personally I think he’s awesome and could care less about his sexual preference. (But I still think he’s a gay.)

© copyright 2011-2013

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The Chicken Noodle Soup Theorem

I apologize up front for the nature of this post. Those with a weak constitution may want to stop reading. I have come to a realization that may one day change the world. Probably not.  But who’s to say Pythagoras or John Nash knew what they had stumbled upon when documenting ideas about triangles or equilibriums. They probably weren’t even the first to realize the concepts they are credited with. They were, however, the first to record the idea. So here I am, recording my earth shattering epiphany for future generations to use in ways I couldn’t even imagine, to help shape the future of mankind. (If we survive past 12/21/12 of course.)

IVFmale’s Chicken Noodle Soup Theorem.
Chicken Noodle Soup with Ginger Ale causes really stinky farts.

How did I come to this ground breaking realization you may ask? Good question. For the past 2 days I’ve been sicker than a dog who was binge eating at an all-you-can-eat trash heap.

I woke up Tuesday morning feeling a little nauseous. After concluding I couldn’t be pregnant, since I’m infertile and a male, I knew something was wrong. I’ll take a stuffy runny nose and coughing my head off any day over nausea and vomiting. I sat up in bed holding my cramping belly as I broke out in a 5 alarm fever sweat all over my body.

Still I deluded myself into thinking I would be fine. “It’s just gas,” I tricked myself into believing as I sat down to the bowl of cereal the wife fixed for me. Two bites later, I had to stop. If I was going to maintain control over my bodily functions, eating more food was out of the question.

I sat at the table in meditation, trying to keep my stomach from rejecting the food it had just been offered. I informed the wife I would take the day off as a precaution, but reassured her it was probably nothing serious. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

While maintaining a calm composure, focusing on keeping my stomach soothed; I felt a pressure in my lower digestive system that made getting to the restroom an immediate priority. I now understand how someone could label the effect as “exploding”, because that’s what happened the moment I sat down.  If it hadn’t been for the extra weight I carry around with me, I probably would have achieved liftoff.

When the episode was over, I clean myself up and sprayed the room heavily with Lysol; while the wife directed me through the closed door were I could find the medication needed to fix my “problem.” Scanning the closet shelf I found the bottle holding the magic pills I prayed would bring me relief. I popped two pills in my mouth with a handful of water before remembering my lower digestive system wasn’t the only problem I was having that morning.

Too late! Burying my head in the toilet bowl, my stomach rejected the medication, along with what little I had eaten for breakfast, and much of what remained from the previous night’s dinner. In this position I found myself thankful. Thankful that I had already flushed the toilet before attempting to find the medication.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom after both the upper and lower parts of my digestive system had taken a couple of turns being ill, I was greeted with a caring pity look from the wife and an uncaring “I wan’t to play” look from the puppy. I sat on the couch feigning ignorance about my prior prediction about “being alright” and found myself thankful once again. We had cold bottles of regular Sprite in the refrigerator. Food was out of the question, but with both ends threatening to cause me dehydration, I needed something with calories that might calm my stomach.

Slowly I started sipping the soda knowing the likely result. Sure enough, I found myself bowing to the porcelain god once again. Only this time the lower end decided it wasn’t willing to take turns anymore. Leaving me to make some snap decisions on how to handle the situation. Seated on the bowl with my face directed towards the sink, I was mostly successful at avoiding a complete disaster. During a brief lull, I begged my saint of a wife to bring me the large soup pot, the Clorox cleaning wipes, and a change of clothes.

Now armed with a defensive strategy to handle both issues at once, I somehow managed to clean up the mess between attacks. The wife went out and picked up some more nausea medication and a bottle of ginger ale, for I needed to fix that problem before addressing the other one. That’s how I spent the rest of Tuesday…shivering on the couch in a cold sweat feeling like I was just ran over by a bus, or sitting on the toilet with my head buried in a large soup pot while cursing my own existence.

I knew I had to keep drinking fluids, but little was working. I attempted orange juice, but there was no hope in keeping that down, so I stuck with sipping on ginger ale trying to get the upper half of my digestive system back under control. At the end of Tuesday, my entire digestive track was clean as a whistle, which I never understood that phrase since blowing on a whistle after someone else isn’t very hygienic, but I digress. Let’s just say I had visual evidence there was nothing left in my digestive system and leave it at that.

After a night of successfully maintaining control over my upper half, I attempted to eat a few bites of chicken noodle soup Wednesday morning. My stomach waited a whole 20 minutes before rejecting the latest offering. I viewed this delay as progress and made another attempt a couple hours later. When an hour passed after my second attempt with the soup, I braved another assault on the problem with my lower digestive system. Two more magic pills with a sip of ginger ale.

Ah…sweet success. A little more chicken soup and sips of ginger ale,  soon my digestive issues were under control. Albeit only barely thanks to meditation and nausea medication allowing the Imodium pills a chance to keep working. When the lower digestive pressure alarm triggered, I assumed my now customary seated position holding a large soup bowl in my lap. Thinking how thankful I was we only have two ends of our digestive track to worry about, because I couldn’t have handled a third. Just gas! Hurrah, hallelujah thank the…cough, gasp, choke, oh my god where is that can of Lysol?

I bowed my head in prayer to the heavily used large soup pot before me, trying to keep down what little I had eaten over the last few hours. Where once I was thankful for not having a sinus problem at the same time as a stomach problem, I now wished otherwise. My ability to still smell was about to foil everything and cause my body to betray me once again. (Keeping in mind I hadn’t showered in two days and only accomplished properly brushing half my teeth the morning prior before suffering another attack. Thank goodness for mouthwash!)

My free hand found the can of Lysol providing not only some aromatic relief, but also gifting my arm with extended reach to turn on the exhaust fan without risking any further stomach jostling. Victory had been preserved!

I survived the ordeal to spread the word about the dangers of eating chicken noodle soup and drinking ginger ale with fully functional olfactories.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear Ivfmale, cum injection needle?

Works been keeping me busy, busy, busy. But I’m taking a break anyway to bring you this weeks Dear Ivfmale. 😀 Some searches were sad, some were funny, lets sample a few of both shall we?

— i’m ashamed of my infertility i don’t want to talk about it
Perfectly natural to feel this way. It’s a hard pill to swallow after months of trying to conceive. Each month thinking this would be the one. There is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s not your fault. Staying quiet about your situation is a typical response. Few will understand the emotions we’re dealing with and offer platitudes that hurt rather than help. Ask your doctor about counselors or support groups in your area to connect with others that understand. Or you can start an infertility blog when you’re ready to talk about it.

— ivf failed wife left me
My heart goes out to you. You need to talk to a professional, not Mr. Google. I sincerely hope you find happiness.

— semen dessert
I bet if someone wrote a recipe book using semen they would make at least $5.

— cum injectionneedle
It’s called a penis.

— hvac ivrf fault finding
How in the hell did you find this blog with that search?

Sorry to cut it short this week, back to the grindstone. Hope everyone is having a good Holiday Season.

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, ivf and accomplishments

I’m constantly amazed how some people find this blog using search engines. Take my top 5 search terms this week…

One of my reasons for starting this blog was to help get the male’s perspective of the infertility story told. When I first found out about my condition, I searched the web for answers and guidance about the journey I was just starting. Most of what I found were women dealing with infertility due to a male factor condition. While helpful, it missed the mark in what I was craving. A male’s understanding of the shock I was feeling. To connect in some small way with another also dealing with the emotions of my Severe Male Factor diagnosis. A couple of good male perspective blogs were found, many were not.

One male blogger put everything in terms of Star Wars. I love Star Wars. I’m a total Star Wars geek. George Lucas turned into the Evil Empire…Han Solo shot first…Phantom and Clones are an abomination that Lucas should be ashamed of…I get the attraction of Star Wars.  I don’t want Star Wars ruined even further by linking it with infertility. Just NO!

My ivf accomplishment has been creating this blog. A place to laugh at infertility when you’re just tired of crying about it. Yet still put forward real emotion which others may fear admitting. The search engine verification process was my attempt to reach out to others just beginning their struggle with infertility.

Where men can come and understand it’s normal to feel a sense of loss after hearing bad news about you’re condition. There is still hope. Always remember, a couple will survive the hard times by working together. Sometimes you support her, other times she will support you. Don’t feel ashamed to talk to your wife about your struggles. She is probably wanting you too.

A place where a woman can learn what their husband is feeling, but he won’t speak about.  To understand men struggle just as much with the emotions of infertility that they are. We don’t go quiet because we’re cold and heartless…it’s because we care and we’re afraid to cause the woman in our life even more distress. We don’t understand that talking about what we are feeling would actually help her.  Let your man know talking about his feelings will help you both. And be a little forgiving if the words don’t come out right, because we’re not used to talking about feelings.

I’m very proud of this blog. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be so popular with folks wanting to make meringue from semen and puppy pictures. Three of my top five search terms are for Bandit! Now you’re probably asking yourself, how “missing half of face” could possibly be attributed to Bandit?

I’m glad you asked; I wondered the same thing. My request to Mr. Google left me scratching my head. Nothing related to my blog, and I wasn’t about to scan several pages of people missing half their face to find out why. Tagging “ivfmale” onto the end made it clear why this person found me.

Cocker-teseIn my post The Cock-tese I talked about Bandit being half Cocker Spaniel and half Maltese. Then pointed out the adorable face and stated he was missing his momma since we just picked him up from the breeder.

Even while looking at the grotesqueness of people with only half a face, Bandit snatched them away to look at cute adorable puppy pictures!

Simply amazing.

Further down the list we have…

— male nut cursher

Quit being sexist. A female can cursh nuts as well as any male can. What is a nut cursher anyway?

— ivf “calling in sick”

Go right ahead.

— punishment needle
— i gave my wife a needle injection as afun

I bet you both have no problems procreating…but you still need to seek help!

— 4dp3dt and lots of cm

STOP! STOP! STOP! The ups and downs are bad enough from the doctor, quit adding to it. I understand if checking your cm now brings you comfort from doing it so often…but lay off googling about it. You can pee on a stick in a few more days. GOOD LUCK!

— male hospital exam funny stories

Have you heard the one about getting a testicle and prostate exam from a urologist while the wife watches?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, Injection needle punishment

I’m amazed how my search engine referrers have tripled this past week.  Unfortunately most of them I’ve already answered. There are still a few gems worth highlighting, so lets take a look.

— poems about it’s not easy being green
— a dream lost by matthew wanner

WOW! I guess my poems have touched some people and the word is spreading. I’m flushed with a totally nonsexual warm fuzzy feeling. Thanks you guys!

— embryos sperm kick in day

I’m not an expert, but my RE stated the DNA from the sperm kicks in after the 3rd day. It’s sort of like marriage on a micro scale. Once the two are joined, the female gets busy working while the male just sits on the couch playing games. Eventually the female needs help and hands the male a list of chores, which he does to keep the female happy. If the male can’t get off the couch the marriage ends.

— i am sale to my own ivf

WHAT? If you figure out how to sell IVF to yourself let me know. I would give myself a big discount.

— give injection needle to my wife as a punshment

😯 This is a blog about fertility, or rather infertility, not S&M. I’m not one to judge, but couldn’t you just use whips or spanking during your bondage? Different strokes for different folks I guess. Just makes sure she’s cool with it first…and remember to use a “SAFE” word…and use sterile needles.

Are you sure you love your wife?

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, Sperm Out!

Sorry folks. Works been keeping me busy, but we all need a break once in a while…right! An interesting group of searches this week. Let’s get started…

—ivf male blogspot

Uhm. I’m on wordpress. But you found me anyway so you’re forgiven.
Nothing against blogspot, I just like wordpress.

—4dp3dt temperature spike

Stop! I know it’s a long wait and old habits die hard. Give the basal thermometer a rest. One thing I’ve learned is symptom checking during IVF isn’t helpful. It might mean implantation is occurring, but it could also be a hundred other reasons too. You’re just making the roller coaster ride worse. Good luck with your beta and I’m wishing you a BFP!

—poem for a ivf couple trying

Well since you asked…

There once was a couple trying to conceive,
hopes for a family they would soon achieve,
a doctor they would pay
IVF’s the only way
a journey harder than any would believe.

—the sperm out last time

😆 I honestly haven’t a clue what you’re hoping to find. Something about this search reminded me of the song Le Freak by Chic and what Weird Al Yankovic might have done with it. Let’s have some fun shall we?

Le Sperm by IVFmale.
(Satire of Le Freak by Chic)

Chorus:
Ah, sperm out!
Le sperm, c’est chic
Sperm out!
Ah, sperm out!
Le sperm, c’est chic
Sperm out!

Have you heard about the new fun craze?
Listen to me, I’m sure you’ll be amazed
Big fun to be had by every male
It’s up to you, it surely can not fail

Young and old are doing it, I’m told
Just one try and you too will be sold
It’s called ‘Le Sperm’, I’m doing it right now
Allow me, I will show you how

(chorus)

All that pressure got you down
Has your head been spinning all around?
Feel the rhythm, there’s no crime
Come on along and have a real good time

Like the days of jerking as a boy
Now we “sperm,” oh, what a joy
Just head on in through the bathroom door
Try not to shoot it on the floor

(chorus)

Now sperm
I said sperm
Now sperm

All that pressure got you down
Has your head been spinning all around?
Feel the rhythm, there’s no crime
Come on along and have a real good time

Like the days of jerking as a boy
Now we “sperm,” oh, what a joy
Just head on in through the bathroom door
Try not to shoot it on the floor

(chorus)

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, Fun IVF games

It is becoming clear to me that Bandit is more popular with the search engines than I am. Which perplexes me since I only have a few posts dealing with our new puppy. “Cock tese” has been my top search hitter the last few weeks. I went to Mr. Google and typed in “cock tese” and my website was the first one! I then tried it on the image search and saw…

Well no wonder he is getting so many hits. Who could possibly resist that face!

Let’s see what else the list has this week.

—menopur green box

I guess someone was wanting a picture of menopur in a green box for some reason. Who knows.

Yes menopur comes in a green box.

—wife pressed
—insemination games

Either someone is messing with me, or my blog is getting some word of mouth advertising and this is how they found me. Strangely enough, both options I think are positives.

What else…several I’ve already answered…oh this one looks good!

—fun games to explain ivf

???

I’m just going to assume this is a school teacher looking for activities to help explain IVF. I think I can come up with a few…

Instead of pin the tail on the donkey you could play “Poke the infertile with a syringe.” Have the kids cut out paper syringes. Put a little tape on the back of each one. Put up a poster of a woman’s lower back and draw circles on both sides by the hipbone. Blindfold, spin and send forward. Whomever is closest wins!

How about fresh semen relay races? Fill a small paper cup with milk. Have a team of 3 members. First is the donor, second is the technician, third is the embryologist. Have them run around a track passing the cup to each stage. Penalties for each ounce of milk spilled. First team to cross the finish with the fewest penalties wins!

Or maybe an “unhealthy sperm grab bag.” Collect a bunch of dead AA batteries, add 2 or 3 good AA batteries. Then have the kids pick them out of a bag. Plug them into some device needing an AA battery and if it turns on…they win a prize.

Does anyone else have any suggestions for games to help explain IVF to kids?

Now if this is an infertility party for adults to help explain IVF, well then…

Pee on a stick! Points off for getting it on your hands.

Try to achieve an erection in a bathroom on a folding chair while people talk about what you are doing on the other side of the door! Fastest wins.

Instead of the the 2ww have the 10 minute wait. Sit on a chair holding 2 electrodes. If you move, you get shocked. If you last the 10 minutes you may get shocked, or you may get a cookie.

The female pumped up on hormones game. If the male can last 10 minutes of verbal abuse and frantic crying, he wins a prize.

Any more ideas for the adult infertility party?

© copyright 2011-2012

Half-baked Bandit

“Bandit! I need to talk to you about your addiction problem.”

What addiction problem?

“We need to talk about your addiction to grass.”

Are you serious?

“I am serious. I’m worried about what this addiction is doing to you.”

You’ve got no proof.
I’m taking a nap.

“Oh, but I do have proof. How do you explain this?”

I’m just laying in the grass.
No big deal.

“Okay, but what about a few seconds later?”

It got stuck on my chin.
Not my fault.

“What about this?”

Something smelled funny.
I was checking it out.

“And this?”

That’s just trick lighting effects.

“Quit denying your problem!”

What do you care?
A little grass never hurt anybody!
Some studies say it has positive effects.

“I’m not saying it will hurt you. Just that you might not like how you look when you’re on grass.”

What do you mean?
Hey! You can’t show that!
That’s PRIVATE!

“I tried to warn you about your grass addiction.”

You can’t do this to me.
You’re ruining my life!

“No I’m not. Chicks love these photos.”

© copyright 2011-2012

Dear IVFmale, Other Search Terms?

Howdy folks. Well unlike last week when the cupboard was bare, this week was a cornucopia of new search requests. Let’s jump right in shall we…

—“my testosterone increased”

Well whoop-ti freakin do! Now I don’t say that to put you down, only to make you cautious. You see, my testosterone increased while on hCG too. Two months later my sperm count actually went down. What I don’t know for sure is why it went down. It may have been the hCG, or could have just been a bad time for me. There is also the possibility about a week before my S/A test, I had the brilliant idea to keep the sperm factory cool by removing all the hair in the area using a depilatory cream…which, as it turns out, is a BAD IDEA. Don’t do it! Try to keep the crazy infertile thoughts at bay.

Anyway, I hope you have better luck, but don’t get your hopes up like I did.

—condoms used in fertility clinics

They have loads of condoms in fertility clinics. Every time my wife had to get an ultrasound with Mr. Dildowand they used a condom. But did they think to provide me with one to use for my sperm collection? Hell no! Do you know how much easier the whole process would have been if I could have collected into a condom instead of trying to work it with one hand, hold the cup in the other hand, all the while worried about missing the cup and having to do it all over again a few days later? The targeting isn’t very accurate. If you’re lucky they will have a sign in the room saying you can request one if needed. But honestly, by the time you notice the sign you’re halfway there already. We’re guys! We don’t ask for directions, why would they think we would be willing to ask them for a condom? Just leave one on the counter next to a sign saying, “Use it if you need it!” Sheesh.

I could go on all day about this topic, but other people need help.

—wife doing ivf become a complete bitch

I know I’ve answered this before, but I thought this was a good example of how to clearly state your problem to Mr. Google to get a result that may actually benefit you.

You don’t say. It’s the medication talking! I know it feels like a long couple of weeks, but you’ll be fine. I’m sure you’re buddy will be more than happy to hide your weapons collection for a few days.

—unmarried couple having a baby through ivf

This is what bothered me about having to wait 6 months to use donor sperm from someone you knew, but not married to. I honestly don’t know what the requirements are for going through IVF if you’re not married. But my RE did clarify that the 6 month wait was for donors from people you’re not having sex with. It’s all pretty vague to me. Do you have to sign some legal paper saying person X and person Y are regularly having sex and are exempt from the 6 month waiting period? I’m not sure how they checked we are married. I may have needed our marriage license in the beginning, but I don’t recall.

Either way you can still have a baby using ivf. The only questionable point is if the male partner can donate using fresh sperm, or if the doctors must follow the procedures outlined by the FDA and go the frozen route. Assuming of course your are in the United States. If you reside in a different country, your doctor should know what laws they must follow. It’s best if you ask the reproductive specialist these questions.

—Other Search Terms
—Uknown Search Terms

Now a few weeks ago I received this one and I ignored it as a fluke. But this week it popped up on my list again…twice. What the hell are you looking for? And why are you compelled to click on a link to a blog about infertility?

Or did the search term get lost and Google provided a generic “Other Search Terms” as filler. Maybe these are what Google provides us when the privacy mode is turned on. If that’s the case…it is entirely unfair and is depriving me of being able to poke fun at them! Hmph!

Any ideas what this could possibly mean?

© copyright 2011-2012

Shooting the Bandit

Snoring on the center console.

“Is that comfortable Bandit?”

“You’re just too cute!!! Come here buddy.”

“I’ve got a puppy dog with FLUFFY FLOPPY EARS.”

“You don’t like me playing with your ears, but I can’t help it…they’re just soooo FFFFLUUUUFFFFFYYYY!”

 

Leave me alone!

“I’m sorry. I’ll let you sleep”

“Well that wasn’t long. You wanna play?”

“Grrrrrr, Hahaha.”

“OUCH! Hey, my fingers are not chew toys buddy.”

“OOOOOUCH! What? You need to go outside? Okay, let’s go outside.”

“Will you stop a minute? I need to put your leash on. Come here! Good boy!”

“Good job walking down the steps Bandit; you’re getting the hang of it.”

“Get busy.”

“Good boy! Here is your treat.”

It is a bird.
It is a plane.
It is Super Bandit.
Ignoring the fact he is lying in the grass.

“It’s Super Bandit!”

“Hold on…let me get a picture.”

“Awe.”

“One more…oh you’re done playing Super Bandit.”

“I know! Let’s go this way. We can probably get some good pictures on the grassy hill.”

“BANDIT, FOLLOW.”

“Good boy.”

“Heel.”

“Heel.”

“Stay with me buddy.”

“This will be a good spot.”

“Sit…Stay!”

“Perfect. One, two…” Click

Where is my treat?

“No buddy, you don’t get a treat yet.”

“Get back there. Sit! Stay!”

“Very Good.” Click

Oh Look.
Dogshit!

“Ignore the crap Bandit.”

“Sit! Look over here.”

Click

What’s that noise?

“Bandit. Look over here buddy.” Click

I really want that dogshit.

“BANDIT NO! Leave that alone!”

“Come back here.”

“Sit! Stay!” Click

CHOMP!

“BANDIT NO!!! GROSS!”

“BAD DOG! BAD DOG! SPIT IT OUT NOW! SPIT IT OUUUT!”

“GET AWAY FROM IT!”

“IT’S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS! I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO CLEAN UP OTHER DOGS MESSES JUST SO YOU WON’T EAT IT!”

“All gone! Now sit!”

“Stay.” Click

Whine

“I’m sorry I yelled at you buddy.”

“But you really must stop eating that. It’s gross and you’ll catch worms.”

“Come here Bandit. Yes. I love you buddy.”

“No, you’re not licking my face right now.”

“Let’s try again.”

“Sit! Stay!” Click

Where did the dogshit go?

“It’s all gone bud!”

“I’m starting to think this is a hopeless cause.”

“Last attempt and then we will go get something to eat…okay?”

“Love you too pups.”

“Sit!”

Click

Did you say food?

“BULLSEYE!”

© copyright 2011-2012