Dear Ivfmale, POAS poems?
This week looks like a bust. Not much on the search engine list of note. A new one for “DPchallenge” since I’ve started participating in the Daily Post Challenge for fun. But I must admit, “Daily Post” is not what comes to mind when I think of DPchallenge. Probably what caught my attention in the first place.
I also had one person looking for “IVF poetry” that caught my attention. I have been in a poetic mood as of late. I’ve found it very therapeutic in expressing emotions that I’m struggling with. I’ll be doing more of it to be sure, but poetry should also be about helping others. I’m interested in writing poems on topics that are normally overlooked.
I haven’t seen much poetry dealing with peeing on a stick (POAS). Barrenart has a lovely one called Pink that touches on the subject. But nothing on the addiction that is afflicting the infertile community.
For inspiration I turned to self-confessed POAS addict and good online friend Belle from Scrambled-Eggs, and her post on Tuesday about her latest experience with POAS.
I already made sure she wasn’t offended by the poem. 😉 She loved it! 😀
A P.O.A.S. Story
By Matthew Wanner
Who is this Chick?
Her name is Belle.
If life is a journey.
She has been through hell.
Belle has an addiction.
One you may not see.
She will purchase a stick,
and on it pee, pee, pee.
She pees in the morning.
When she knows it’s best.
But she will also pee at night.
Just to get some rest.
These sticks aren’t cheap,
they cost quite a lot.
When the bill will arrive,
the Professor will be hot.
But what can he do,
she is the love of his life.
He said those magic words,
that made her his wife.
Then something happened,
as Belle was peeing with glee.
A hint of a line,
one she could barely see.
She called the Professor,
begged him to come quick.
“Do you see a line?”
And showed him the stick.
“I think I do.”
he proudly exclaimed.
Agreeing to caution.
Excitement should be contained.
Belle continued to pee,
until her hearts delight.
Buying fresh sticks,
to pee on day and night.
She wanted to be sure.
A line everyone could see.
She would be a Mom.
Announcing her BFP!
Posted on October 17, 2012, in Dear Ivfmale, Poetry and tagged humor, IVF, poems, test results. Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.
That poem is hilarious! And I love the search terms we get. I got one the other day “testosterone in sperm of old buggers”. But the best was “infertile I hate everyone”. :$
OMG. Those are great!!! I can relate the the person who hates everyone. Just watching TV lately has been difficult at times.
❤ this! I read it to the Professor last night and it made him laugh lots, too, and then remark on what a great writer you are. I could not agree more!
Awesome! Thank you so much for saying that. Although I’m embarrassed by the rogue “the” in the 3rd paragraph of the version I sent to you. :blush:
Something about your tale yesterday reminded me of “The Night Before Christmas” and I just had to write about it.
love the poem!!!
I’m glad you like it. 🙂
Congrats on your RE graduation!
I keep checking my stats hoping something hilarious will be there but all I get are normal searches. 😦
Same here. I think I’m being too timid in my post titles.
This is awesome! Love it!
Oh my GAWD I love this so much! SMILES ABOUND!
Once was an infertile named Courtney.
Who envied Belle’s pee stick of glory.
The pressure was too great,
she opened the floodgate.
And now has her own BFP story.
Congrats to you too!!! 😀
🙂 So fun! Thank you! HA!
OMG I am such an addict, I’ve probably peed on hundreds, maybe a thousand if you include ov predictor ones. . . briliant!
Admitting your addiction is the first step to recovery. 😀
I haven’t figured out the rest of the steps yet, but when I do, I will be sure to let you know.
I’m glad you like it.
It’s a shame I can’t draw. I would love to do a PG cartoon illustration of this poem. 😆
Reblogged this on barrenart and commented:
so funny love this one, thanks Matthew aka ivfmale
thanks for your blog and this poem! I have followed your thoughts on and off since I found the link from the male factor frappucino on a very hard day. We went through the two week wait nearly at exactly the same time as you and did 3 x ICSI so far, the last one being a frozen cycle.
In September they tried it again.
And lost 4 good embies there and then.
2 did not thaw well and 2 did not stick
so blown out was the candle with IVF trick.
Once told that their chance of conception would be
equal to that of a swimmer meeting a ship in the sea,
two broken hearts drowning in sorrow
about their sweet dreams of tomorrow.
Despite – In October she peed on a stick
that had different rules – and another trick.
It would tell them exact when it was time to make love
And this time their prayers where heard up above. —
Now the weeks have passed by and I still carry the treasure
that I already love beyond any measure.
I wish you so much that the same comes to you
please never stop trying, good luck for you two!
That’s awesome! So glad you lucked out with the OPK test. We’ll never stop trying but my count is so low the stats aren’t good.
Thanks for the inspiring poem. 🙂
Pingback: Dear IVFmale, ivf and accomplishments « IVF male