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Dear IVFmale, Other Search Terms?

Howdy folks. Well unlike last week when the cupboard was bare, this week was a cornucopia of new search requests. Let’s jump right in shall we…

—“my testosterone increased”

Well whoop-ti freakin do! Now I don’t say that to put you down, only to make you cautious. You see, my testosterone increased while on hCG too. Two months later my sperm count actually went down. What I don’t know for sure is why it went down. It may have been the hCG, or could have just been a bad time for me. There is also the possibility about a week before my S/A test, I had the brilliant idea to keep the sperm factory cool by removing all the hair in the area using a depilatory cream…which, as it turns out, is a BAD IDEA. Don’t do it! Try to keep the crazy infertile thoughts at bay.

Anyway, I hope you have better luck, but don’t get your hopes up like I did.

—condoms used in fertility clinics

They have loads of condoms in fertility clinics. Every time my wife had to get an ultrasound with Mr. Dildowand they used a condom. But did they think to provide me with one to use for my sperm collection? Hell no! Do you know how much easier the whole process would have been if I could have collected into a condom instead of trying to work it with one hand, hold the cup in the other hand, all the while worried about missing the cup and having to do it all over again a few days later? The targeting isn’t very accurate. If you’re lucky they will have a sign in the room saying you can request one if needed. But honestly, by the time you notice the sign you’re halfway there already. We’re guys! We don’t ask for directions, why would they think we would be willing to ask them for a condom? Just leave one on the counter next to a sign saying, “Use it if you need it!” Sheesh.

I could go on all day about this topic, but other people need help.

—wife doing ivf become a complete bitch

I know I’ve answered this before, but I thought this was a good example of how to clearly state your problem to Mr. Google to get a result that may actually benefit you.

You don’t say. It’s the medication talking! I know it feels like a long couple of weeks, but you’ll be fine. I’m sure you’re buddy will be more than happy to hide your weapons collection for a few days.

—unmarried couple having a baby through ivf

This is what bothered me about having to wait 6 months to use donor sperm from someone you knew, but not married to. I honestly don’t know what the requirements are for going through IVF if you’re not married. But my RE did clarify that the 6 month wait was for donors from people you’re not having sex with. It’s all pretty vague to me. Do you have to sign some legal paper saying person X and person Y are regularly having sex and are exempt from the 6 month waiting period? I’m not sure how they checked we are married. I may have needed our marriage license in the beginning, but I don’t recall.

Either way you can still have a baby using ivf. The only questionable point is if the male partner can donate using fresh sperm, or if the doctors must follow the procedures outlined by the FDA and go the frozen route. Assuming of course your are in the United States. If you reside in a different country, your doctor should know what laws they must follow. It’s best if you ask the reproductive specialist these questions.

—Other Search Terms
—Uknown Search Terms

Now a few weeks ago I received this one and I ignored it as a fluke. But this week it popped up on my list again…twice. What the hell are you looking for? And why are you compelled to click on a link to a blog about infertility?

Or did the search term get lost and Google provided a generic “Other Search Terms” as filler. Maybe these are what Google provides us when the privacy mode is turned on. If that’s the case…it is entirely unfair and is depriving me of being able to poke fun at them! Hmph!

Any ideas what this could possibly mean?

© copyright 2011-2012

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Testing the testicles

Well the semen analysis went as expected. Awkwardly successful. Blood test is a blood test. Nothing special to report, but I do have an appreciation for someone who handles the needle well. I hardly felt a thing this time. But the testicular ultrasound, now there is a new experience.

My dream urologist (female that I do not find attractive) happened to be working as an ultrasound technician. She was very nice and considerate that this was a very awkward situation for me. She hands me a towel and explains how I am to cover my private area while leaving the testicles exposed. At first I found this very odd. Then I realized this was just to keep the fella out-of-the-way while leaving the testicles exposed. I followed the instructions and signaled that I was ready. The technician proceeded to slather my testicles with some sort of lubricating jelly. I was very thankful it was warm. As she moved the ultrasound device around my testicles she proceeded to take several pictures of the blood flow and of the testicles themselves. I was fascinated about what the images were telling her and couldn’t take my eyes of the computer screen.

Considering the debacle of my previous tests this one was rather relaxing. All things considered, I’d rather have a massage, but this wasn’t too bad. Now it is just waiting for the results from the urologist in a few days.

© copyright 2011-2012