Infertilish 101

You’ve found out you have a fertility problem and want to learn more about it. Perhaps you want to meet others dealing with similar issues for comfort and understanding. Welcome. This is a very friendly and understanding community. Infertility may have caused us to develop a warped sense of humor and you do get the occasional fits of rage against those who procreate without even trying (teens, crack heads, relatives who’ve only been married a month)…but you’ll soon understand those feelings if you aren’t starting to already. What you will be confronted with is a new language that you may not understand, Infertilish.

In our frustration from not being able to procreate with just a man and a woman, we infertile’s start smashing together several disciplines in our desperate attempt for anything to help us Trying To Conceive (TTC). You have the chemists with their sticks in urine hoping for a line to tell them today is the day. The women call it Peeing On A Stick (POAS) and this is done for ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. There are the biologists checking cervical mucus looking for the right indicator. You will also see the charters taking their temperature every morning looking for the spike telling them an egg is on route and Baby Making Sex (BMS) must start immediately. Many may be doing all 3 at the same time. Then they add more disciplines of natural medicine using herbs, acupuncture and maybe even others before the couple decided to go to a doctor looking for answers.

Since we are familiar by now with smashing disciplines together, that is what happened with the Infertilish language.  The language combines cryptography, chronology and mathematics to form its base structure. With a few lines an infertile can cram their entire infertility journey. You feel the hopes in one line and their crushing sadness in the next.

You may come across something like this:
ttc 2yrs
6/7 IVF#1
7/2 BFP
8/5 m/c @ 6 weeks

11/2 IVF #2
11/26 BFN

This woman has been trying to conceive for 2 years. Started her first IVF on June 7th. The first test came back a Big “Fat” Positive but she miscarried the baby at 6 weeks. She tried her second IVF on November 2nd and the pregnancy test came back a Big “Fat” Negative on November 26th. (Some infertile folks don’t use the word fat.)

A few try to shove in what medications they used and strengths. You may also see IUI attempts as well, but this should at least give you an idea what they are talking about.

You will also see woman talking about how many DPO they are. This stands for Days Past Ovulation and is used to tell women when she can start POAS for a BFP or BFN result. Except with IVF it gets a little more complicated. For IVF you have to consider the days between Egg Retrieval (ER) and Embryo Transfer (ET). You will see these cryptic markings like 3dp5dt. This says the woman is 3 days past her 5 day transfer. You add the 3 and the 5 to figure out she is 8 dpo. Now you might be asking why bother, why not just use the dpo standard of measurement? Because Infertilish is not just about communicating information but also emotion.

Look at the following 3 women.
Susan is 9dp3dt.
Grace is 7dp5dt.
Patty is 6dp6dt.

All 3 woman are 12 dpo and itching to POAS hoping for a BFP. But Susan’s doctor’s didn’t like the progress of the embryos so they put them in early hoping for them to survive better in the womb. Grace’s doctor’s were happy with her embryo growth to keep them going for 5 days before transferring them into her womb. Patty however is from a frozen embryo transfer as fresh transfers are 2, 3 and 5 days. So she isn’t dealing with coming off of 2 weeks of stimulation drugs and the pain of egg retrieval right now. Unless she is a year past her previous attempt, more than likely her fresh attempt didn’t work out and she is dealing with that loss at the same time hoping this one works.

If you would like to learn more about Infertilish you can purchase my advanced course, “Infertilish to Parenthood 900.” For the ridiculously low price of $14,000 I will attempt to send you the course material which in 9 months you may or may not receive. However, included is a test you can run after 2 weeks to see if you’ve been screwed. All purchases are final, no refunds.

BTW we are 4dp3dt, bonus points if you can figure out how we are feeling.

© copyright 2011-2012

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About ivfmale

Just a guy dealing with infertility.

Posted on September 8, 2012, in Dear Ivfmale, IVF progression and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I’m 50+ is there every any hope for me understanding all this? How will this info affect us older infertiles? Is there any hope for post menopausal women? I want to learn all about infertilish and it’s benefits. Do you think I can get it before I die? Anxious and waiting.

    • 😆 I’ll attempt to put it in the mail after your check clears. We do offer low interest financing which you probably will not qualify for.

  2. I have to say, your male POV blog is quite refreshing. It has emotion, but not the crazy type that comes from being drugged up on hormones for weeks/months/years at a time. Keep up the good work, I really enjoy it!
    I hope you and your wife are feeling optimistic at the moment. Try to stay as positive as possible! Sticky baby vibes coming your way…

    • Thank you. I’m glad you are enjoying it. I am trying to share our hope, and also not sugar coat the pain and uncomfortable situations this journey will cause a couple to have.

      And thanks for the sticky vibes. Right now we are feeling a mixture of grief, trepidation and anger wrapped in a blanket of hope. Trying to just live in the present and whatever the result, know we love each other very much.

  3. Wow, you have really hit the nail on the head with this! I know the process can differ in the UK, but the feelings seem to be the same. It is also amazing I find, how much we actually learn about the medical process, but ultimately come out without a single clue as to how we get a baby. I still think it is dumb luck. Great post.

    • Different dialects of Infertilish based on region and country are covered in the advanced course. 😉 (Would it help you decide to purchase if I said it was a test you get to pee on?)

      I was captured by how much emotion this shorthand had behind it. I was trying to figure out a way to post about it in an interesting way for both my friends and family not familiar with the infertility forums, and still be an interesting read for my infertile followers as well. I thought a mock infomercial would work well.

  4. Beyond saving time, I think our language also offers us a degree of protection from outsiders. Our message boards are often on the same sites that are filled with women pregnant with oopsies and looking for a due date club. They may know basic TTC lingo but they don’t understand infertility-specific abbreviations like PIO, DOR, MFI, etc.

    • That is very interesting. Thank you for pointing this out and it makes perfect sense. When I first saw this language in the footnotes of comments, the programmer in me just saw a puzzle needing to be decoded. But once I started to understand their meaning I was struck by how emotionally powerful these stories really were. I know being a male I’m not even fully understanding the emotion completely, but I still found them powerfully moving none the less. That’s when I realized they are really about the emotional journey where you can quickly understand the struggle of someone else and share your struggle so you both know you’re not alone. You know the advice you are getting is not from some knock up teenager, but from someone sharing the struggle along side you. Yes, a degree of protection would be very important.

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